The saviour

Every one of us has passed through a painful experience..one,two or more…

Do not search for someone else to treat your pain and relieve it.

Your inner talk to your self is your only saviour.

Yes

Pain is like a wild tiger that attacks us with no mercy.

But how pain attacks us?

Pain attacks us when we remember the painful experiences of the past.

When the dark thoughts attack you, quickly kick them out of your brain and begin to talk to your self positively.

Say to your self ( never mind..I trust God..I am sure tomorrow will be better).

Stop thinking in a passive way..

Forget about the past..

Forget about todays problems..

Accept your fate completely..

Your inner soliloquy is your only saviour of your pain.

Your trust in your creator is your only way out..

Think positively…

Open a new page with your self…

Life is good..but we who can make it good or bad.

Peace☺

Personal Hygiene (Part 1).

Taking care of the cleanliness of the body is a priority in Islam.

Every part of a moslem’s body should be taken care of, especially the teeth…

Moslems pray five times a day.

Every time you pray, you should be sure that your body is clean, your smell and your teeth.

Let’s see what prophet Mohammad said..
Allah’s Messenger said “Had I not feared burdening my Ummah ( nation) , I would have commanded them to use Siwak before every Salat(prayer)” [Reported by Malik, Ahmad and An-Nasai.

Siwak is something like a tooth brush..but when you use it, you don’t need a toothpaste, it is a plant like a small stick, a muslim uses to clean his teeth. Siwak makes the smell of the mouth nice and protects from many diseases.lt protects the stomach and helps in the digestion of your food.

I will show you some images of siwak.

Peace be with you 🌷

Night of power🌛

This night is so special for moslems all over the world..

Let’s learn about it…

Laylat al-Qadr

(from Arabic: لیلة القدر‎), variously rendered in English as the Night of Decree,[2]Night of Power,[3] Night of Value, Night of Destiny,[4] or Night of Measures, is an Islamic belief the night when the first verses of the Quran were revealed to the Islamic prophetMuhammad.[5] It is one of the nights of the last ten days of Ramadan. Muslims believe that on this night the blessings and mercy of God are abundant, sins are forgiven, supplications are accepted, and that the annual decree is revealed to the angelswho also descend to earth, specially the Angel Gabriel, referred to as “the Spirit”, to perform every and any errand decreed by God. Islam holds that God Almighty alone answers our supplications and that He alone receives them and forgives humanity and gives them what they ask for and that on this particular night Muslims should actively seek God’s forgiveness and engage in various acts of worship.

Revelation to Prophet Muhammad

Some commentators believe that the Quran was revealed to Muhammad twice; the ‘immediate revelation’ happening on the Laylat al-Qadr and ‘gradual revelation’ across 23 years. The Quran uses the word Inzal (انزال) which justifies ‘the immediate revelation’, according to Allamah Tabatabai.[6]However some others believe that the revelation of Quran occurred in two phases, with the first phase being the revelation in its entirety on Laylat al-Qadr to the angel Gabriel (Jibril in Arabic) in the lowest heaven, and then the subsequent verse-by-verse revelation to Muhammad by Gabriel.[4] The revelation started in 610 CE at the Hira cave on Mount Nur in Mecca. The first Surah that was revealed was Sūrat al-ʿAlaq (in Arabic العلق).[citation needed] During the first revelation the first five verses of this Surah, or chapter, were revealed.[7]

Date

The specific date of Laylat al-Qadr is not mentioned in the Quran.[8][9]

Sunni Islam

In Islamic countries and Sunnicommunities all over the world, Laylat al-Qadr is found to be on the last ten nights of Ramadan, mostly in on one of the odd nights (21st, 23rd, 25th, 27th or 29th) whereby night precedes day. Many traditions insist particularly on the night before the 27th of Ramadan.[10][11][12]

Religious importance

The night is not comparable to any others in view of Muslims[14] and according to a tradition, the blessings due to the acts of worship during this night can’t be equaled even by worshipping throughout an entire lifetime. The reward of acts of worship done in this one single night is more than the reward of around 83 years (1000 months) of worship.[5] Laylat al-Qadr is referenced in the Quran:[4][14]

1. We have indeed revealed this (Message) in the Night of Power:
2. And what will explain to thee what the Night of Power is?
3. The Night of Power is better than a thousand months.
4. Therein come down the angels and the Spirit by Allah’s permission, on every errand:
5. Peace!… This until the rise of dawn!
   — Surah 97 (Al-Qadr), āyāt 1–5[22]

The verses above regard the night as better than one thousand months.[14] The whole month of Ramadan is a period of spiritual training wherein believers devote much of their time to fasting, praying, reciting the Quran, engaging in the remembrance of God(dhikr) and giving charity.[citation needed] However, because of the revealed importance of this night, Muslims strive [give more effort] harder in the last ten days of Ramadan since the Laylat al-Qadr could be one of the odd-numbered days in these last ten (the first, third, fifth, seventh or ninth). Normally, some Muslims from each community perform iʿtikāf in the mosque: they remain in the mosque for the last ten days of the month for prayers and recitation.[4]Women also observe i’tikaf. They remain in prayer and meditation mostly, although they are allowed to do the minimum domestic work to run the family. When Muhammed observed i’tikaf in a tent, he saw a few tents around his. His wives joined him by pitching tents.[citation needed]

Best regards🌷

Islam or moslems??

I feel so sad when people all over the world judge Islam according to the behaviour of some moslems…

Islam is perfect…but most moslems are not…

Peace 💐

Love or sex???

We live in the age of freedom☺

How silly?

Which freedom are you talking about??

When you talk about religion..they shut your mouth and say stop talking…

When you say Obey God rules…they say shut your mouth and do not speak..

They say live and let live..do not prevent people from loving each other…they say everyone has the freedom to love the person who is suitable for him or her…

Okay…I agree with you..love the person who you feel love for him/her…but do not do sex with aperson who is your same sex..

We should obey God’s rules because God wants the Good for us…

Homosexuality causes harmful diseases for people like Aids disease and this is a simple proof that God’s orders are right and a proof that he wants the Good for us…

A man lost his father when he was just three years old…

When he grew up he felt love for an old man..his neighbour…all he wanted was a hug from that old man and to touch him like a son…but unfortunately the old man exploited him and do sex with him…this is a simple example..

When you feel love for any body…love and do not prevent love…but do not make sex with a person of your same sex…it is harmful to humanity and forbidden in all religions…just obey God Allah…and your life will be great…

Allah says…

وَلُوطًا إِذْ قَالَ لِقَوْمِهِ أَتَأْتُونَ الْفَاحِشَةَ مَا سَبَقَكُمْ بِهَا مِنْ أَحَدٍ مِنَ الْعَالَمِينَ

We also (sent) Lut: He said to his people: “Do ye commit lewdness such as no people in creation (ever) committed before you?

Chapter 7 The heights سورة الأعراف – Al-Araf: Verse 81

إِنَّكُمْ لَتَأْتُونَ الرِّجَالَ شَهْوَةً مِنْ دُونِ النِّسَاءِ ۚ بَلْ أَنْتُمْ قَوْمٌ مُسْرِفُونَ

“For ye practise your lusts on men in preference to women : ye are indeed a people transgressing beyond bounds.”

Chapter 7 The heights سورة الأعراف – Al-Araf: Verse 82

وَمَا كَانَ جَوَابَ قَوْمِهِ إِلَّا أَنْ قَالُوا أَخْرِجُوهُمْ مِنْ قَرْيَتِكُمْ ۖ إِنَّهُمْ أُنَاسٌ يَتَطَهَّرُونَ

And his people gave no answer but this: they said, “Drive them out of your city: these are indeed men who want to be clean and pure!”

Chapter 7 The heights سورة الأعراف – Al-Araf: Verse 83

فَأَنْجَيْنَاهُ وَأَهْلَهُ إِلَّا امْرَأَتَهُ كَانَتْ مِنَ الْغَابِرِينَ

But we saved him and his family, except his wife: she was of those who legged behind.

Chapter 7 The heights سورة الأعراف – Al-Araf: Verse 84

وَأَمْطَرْنَا عَلَيْهِمْ مَطَرًا ۖ فَانْظُرْ كَيْفَ كَانَ عَاقِبَةُ الْمُجْرِمِينَ

And we rained down on them a shower (of brimstone): Then see what was the end of those who indulged in sin and crime!

Peace 💐

Rules of funerals in Islam..

Funerals

in Islam (called جنازة Janazah in Arabic) follow fairly specific rites, though they are subject to regional interpretation and variation in custom. In all cases, however, sharia (Islamic religious law) calls for burial of the body as soon as possible, preceded by a simple ritualinvolving bathing and shrouding the body,[1] followed by salah (prayer). Burial is usually within 24 hours of death to protect the living from any sanitary issues, except in the case of a person killed in battle or when foul play is suspected; in those cases it is important to determine the cause of death before burial. Cremation of the body is strictly forbidden in Islam.[2][3]

Burial rituals should normally take place as soon as possible and include:[4]

• Collective bathing of the dead body,[5]except in extraordinary circumstances as in battle of Uhud.[6]
• Enshrouding dead body in a white cotton or linen cloth.[7]
• Funeral prayer ( صلاة الجنازة ).[8]
• Burial of the dead body in a grave.
• Positioning the deceased so that the head is faced towards Mecca (Makkah Al-Mukarramah).

Bathing the body

The corpse is washed (ghusl, bathed), with the purpose to physically cleanse the deceased. The exact manner: the method, style and accessories used for bathing the corpse may vary by locale and temporal position, except that it is to be done with heated water. Bathing the dead body is an essential ritual of the Sunnah of the Islamic prophetMuhammad,[9] and therefore a part of the Islamic Sharia. This should occur as soon as possible after death, preferably within hours.

Orthodox practice is to wash the body an odd number of times (at least once) with a cloth covering its awrah (parts of the body that should be hidden according to Sharia).[10]

The “washers” are commonly adult members of the immediate family, who are of the same gender as the deceased. In cases of violent deaths or accidents, where the deceased has suffered traumaor mutilation, morgue facilities mend the body and wrap it in a shroud to minimise fluid leakage prior to surrendering it to mourners for washing.

Shrouding

The corpse is typically wrapped in a simple plain cloth (the kafan). This is done to respect the dignity and privacy of the deceased with the family sometimes present. The specifics of this ritual, including the material, style, and colour of the cloth, may vary between regions. However, the shroud should be simple and modest. It is for this reason that Muslims have generally preferred to use white cotton cloth to serve as the shroud. Men may use only three pieces of cloth and women five pieces of cloth.[11]

The body may be kept in this state for several hours, allowing well-wishers to pass on their respects and condolences.

Funeral prayer

The Muslims of the community gather to offer their collective prayers for the forgiveness of the dead. This prayer has been generally termed as the Salat al-Janazah (Janazah prayer).

The Janazah prayer is as follows:

• like Eid prayer, the Janazah prayer incorporates an additional (four[12]) Takbirs, the Arabic name for the phrase Allahu Akbar, but there is no Ruku’(bowing) and Sujud (prostrating).
• Supplication for the deceased and mankind is recited.
• In extraordinary circumstances, the prayer can be postponed and prayed at a later time as was done in the Battle of Uhud.[8]
• It is required for every Muslim adult male to perform the funeral prayer upon the death of any Muslim, but conventionally and in practice the Janazah is performed by few people so it alleviates that obligation for all.[13]
• 

The body is then taken for burial (al-Dafin). The exact manner, customs and style of the grave, the burial and so forth may vary by regional custom.

The grave should be perpendicular to the direction of the Qibla (i.e. Mecca) so that the body, placed in the grave without a coffin lying on its right side, faces the Qibla.[14] Grave markers should be raised, not more than about 30 centimetres (12 in) above the ground, so that the grave will neither be walked nor sat on. Grave markers are simple, because outwardly lavish displays are discouraged in Islam. Graves are frequently marked only with a simple wreath, if at all. However, it is becoming more common for family members to erect grave monuments.

In Middle Eastern Muslim cultures, women are generally discouraged from participating in the funeral procession. The reason for this is that in pre-Islamic Arabia it was customary in Arabia for grieving women to wail loudly. Wealthy families often even hired moirologists to attend the funerals of their deceased relative. Wailing at funerals is not permitted according to the Sahih Bukhari. Women are allowed to attend or be present if they do not wail or cry or hit themselves in grief, especially in an exaggerated excessive manner as in pre-Islamic Arabia.[15]

Three fist-sized spheres of hand-packed soil prepared beforehand by the gravediggers are used as props, one under the head, one under the chin and one under the shoulder. The lowering of the corpse and positioning of the soil-balls is done by the next of kin. In the case of a deceased husband, a male brother or brother-in-law usually performs this task. In the case of a deceased wife, the husband undertakes this if physically able to. If the husband is elderly, then the eldest son (or son-in-law) is responsible for lowering, alignment and propping the deceased.

Orthodoxy expects those present to symbolically pour three handfuls of soil into the grave while reciting a quranic verse meaning, “We created you from it, and return you into it, and from it we will raise you a second time”.[16] More prayers are then said, asking for forgiveness of the deceased, and reminding the dead of their profession of faith.

The corpse is then fully buried by the gravediggers, who may stamp or pat down the grave to shape. Commonly the eldest male will supervise. After the burial the Muslims who have gathered to pay their respects to the dead collectively pray for the forgiveness of the dead. This collective prayer is the last formal collective prayer for the dead. In some cultures, e.g. in South-East Asian, the relatives scatter flowers and perfumed rose water upon the grave before leaving the grave.

Mourning

According to Sunni Islam, loved ones and relatives are to observe a 3-day mourning period.[17] Islamic mourning is observed by increased devotion, receiving visitors and condolences, and avoiding decorative clothing and jewelry in accordance with the Qur’an.[18]Widowsobserve an extended mourning period (iddah, period of waiting), 4 months and 10 days long.[19] During that time, the widow is not to remarry or to interact with non-mahram (a man she can marry). This rule is to confirm that the woman is not pregnant with the deceased’s child prior to remarrying. However, in case of emergencies such as visiting a doctor because of a health emergency, the widow can interact with non-mahram.

Grief at the death of a beloved person and weeping for the dead is normal and acceptable.[20]

Sunni Islam expects expression of grief to remain dignified, prohibiting loud wailing (bewailing refers to mourning in a loud voice), shrieking, beating the chest and cheeks, tearing hair or clothes, breaking objects, scratching faces or speaking phrases that make a Muslim lose faith. Grieving is allowed and a part of the death and burial process to allow one to come in terms with the loss of a person passing away as long as it respects the above.[21]

Directives for widows

The Qur’an prohibits widows to engage themselves for four lunar months and ten days, after the death of their husbands. According to the Qur’an:

And those of you who die and leave widows behind, they should keep themselves in waiting for four months and ten days. Then when they have fulfilled their term, there is no blame on you about what they do with themselves in accordance with the norms [of society]. And Allah is well acquainted with what you do. And there is also no blame on you if you tacitly send a marriage proposal to these women or hold it in your hearts. Allah knows that you would definitely talk to them. [Do so] but do not make a secret contract. Of course you can say something in accordance with the norms [of the society]. And do not decide to marry until the law reaches its term. And know that Allah has knowledge of what is in your hearts; so be fearful of Him and know that Allah is Most forgiving and Most Forbearing.

— Quran 2:234–235

Islamic scholars consider this directive a balance between the mourning of a husband’s death and the protection of a widow from cultural or societal censure if she became interested in remarrying after her husband’s death, often an economic necessity.[22] This provision also operates to protect the property rights of the unborn, as the duration is enough to ascertain whether a widow is pregnant or not.[23]

Husbands are recommended to make a will in favor of their wives for the provision of one year’s residence and maintenance, except if the wives themselves leave the house or take any other similar step. As stated in Qur’an:

And those of you who die and leave widows should bequeath for their widows a year’s provision and [bequeath] that [in this period] they shall not be turned out of their residences; but if they themselves leave the residence, there is no blame on you for what they do with themselves according to the norms of society. And Allah is Exalted in Power, Wise.

— Quran 2:240

Thanks Wikie for the info ☺

I believe ( A song) 🌺

I like this song and I like to share it with you my dear friends..

Rules of fasting in Islam💐

Today is the second day of Ramadan(The month of fasting of muslims all over the world)…

Fasting also has rules, wisdome and meaning..

Let’s learn dear 👭👬👫..

What is Sawm (Fasting)?

The Arabic word for fasting is called “sawm” in the Quran. The word sawm literally means “to abstain”. Chapter Maryam of the Quran says that Mary the mother of Jesus said “I have vowed a “sawm” (fast) for the sake of the Merciful, so today I shall not speak to anyone.” [Quran 19:26]. According to Shariyah, the word sawm means to abstain from all those things that are forbidden during fasting from the break of dawn to the sunset, and to do this with the intention of fasting.

Purpose of Fasting

In chapter 2 verse 183 the Quran says, “O you who believe, fasting is prescribed for you as it was prescribed for those who were before you, in order that you may learn taqwa (piety)”.

Taqwa is a very important spiritual and ethical term of the Quran. It is the sum total of all Islamic spirituality and ethics. It is a quality in a believer’s life that keeps him or her aware of God all the time. A person who has taqwa loves to do good and avoid evil for the sake of God. Taqwa is piety, righteousness and consciousness of God. Taqwa requires patience and perseverance. Fasting teaches patience, and with patience one can rise to the high position of taqwa.

The Prophet (SA) said that fasting is a shield. It protects a person from sin and lustful desires. When the disciples of Jesus asked him how to cast the evil spirits away, he is reported to have said, “But this kind never comes out except by prayer and fasting.” (Matthew 17:21).

According to Imam Al Ghazali, fasting produces a semblance of divine quality of samadiyyah (freedom from want) in a human being. Imam Ibn Al Qayyim, viewed fasting as a means of releasing the human spirit from the clutches of desire, thus allowing moderation to prevail in the carnal self. Imam Shah Waliullah Dahlawi (d. 1762 C.E.) viewed fasting as a means of weakening the bestial and reinforcing the angelic elements in human beings. Maulana Mawdudi (d. 1979 C.E.) emphasized that fasting for a full month every year trains a person individually, and the Muslim community as a whole, in piety and self restraint.

Fasting Is Obligatory

In the second year of Hijrah, Muslims were commanded to fast in the month of Ramadan every year as mentioned in the verse above [Al-Baqarah 2:183]. The Quran further says “The month of Ramadan is that in which was revealed the Quran, wherein is guidance for humankind and the clear signs of guidance and distinction. Thus whosoever among you witness the month must fast…” [Al-Baqarah 2:184].

Prophet Muhammad (SA)explained this further in a number of his statements reported in the books of Hadith. It is reported by Imam Al-Bukhari and Imam Muslim on the authority of Ibn Umar that the Messenger of God said, “Islam is built upon five pillars: testifying that there is no god except God and that Muhammad is the Messenger of God, performing Prayer, paying the zakah, making the pilgrimage to the Sacred House (Hajj), and fasting during the month of Ramadan.”

The entire Muslim world is unanimous in the principal of fasting in the month of Ramadan and considers it obligatory upon every person who is physicaly capable (mukallaf).

Rules of Fasting

Who must fast?

Muslims all over the world wait eagerly for Ramadan, as it is a time of increased inner peace and well-being.

Fasting in the month of Ramadan is obligatory upon every adult Muslim, male or female, who has reached puberty, is sane and who is not sick or traveling.

Sickness could be a temporary sickness from which a person expects to be cured soon. Such a person should not fast during the days of his or her sickness, but he or she must fast later after Ramadan to complete the missed days. Those who are sick with incurable illness and expect no better health are also allowed not to fast but they must pay the fidyah, which is giving a day’s meals for each fast missed to a needy person. Instead of food for one day one can also give equivalent amount of money to a needy person. Women in their menses and post-natal bleeding are not allowed to fast, but they must make up the fast later after Ramadan. If pregnant women and mothers who are nursing babies can also postpone their fasting to a later time when they are able to do so.

A travel according to the Shariah is any journey that takes you away from your city of residence, a minimum of 48 miles or 80 kilometers. The journey must be for a good cause. One must avoid frivolous travel during Ramadan which causes a person to miss fasting. If possible one should try to change their travel plans during Ramadan to be able to fast and should not travel unless it is necessary. The traveler who misses the fasts of Ramadan must make up those missed days later as soon as possible after Ramadan.

Fasting According to the Sunnah

1 – Take sahur (pre-dawn meal). It is Sunnah and there is a great reward and blessing in taking sahur. The best time for sahur is the last half hour before dawn or the time for Fajr prayer.

2 – Take iftar (break-fast) immediately after sunset. Shariah considers sunset when the disk of the sun goes below the horizon and disappears completely.

3 – During the fast, abstain from all false talks and deeds. Do not quarrel, have disputes, indulge in arguments, use bad words, or do anything that is forbidden. You should try to discipline yourself morally and ethically, besides gaining physical training and discipline. You should also not make a show of your fasting by talking too much about it, or by showing dry lips and a hungry stomach, or by showing a bad temper. The fasting person must be a pleasant person with good spirits and good cheer.

4 – During the fast, do acts of charity and goodness to others and increase your worship and reading of the Quran. Every one should try to read the whole Quran at least once during the month of Ramadan.

Things That Invalidate the Fast

You must avoid doing anything that may render your fast invalid. Things that invalidate the fast and require qadaa’ (making up for these days) are the following:

1 – Eating, drinking or smoking deliberately, including taking any non-nourishing items by mouth or nose.

2 – Deliberately causing yourself to vomit.

3 – The beginning of menstrual or post-childbirth bleeding even in the last moment before sunset.

4 – Sexual intercourse or other sexual contact (or masturbation) that results in ejaculation (in men) or vaginal secretions (orgasm) in women.

5 – Eating, drinking, smoking or having sexual intercourse after Fajr (dawn) on the mistaken assumption that it is not Fajr time yet. Similarly, engaging in these acts before Maghrib (sunset) on the mistaken assumption that it is already Maghrib time.

Sexual intercourse during fasting is forbidden. Those who engage in it must make both qadaa’ (make up the fasts) and kaffarah (expiation by fasting for 60 days after Ramadan or by feeding 60 poor people for each day of fast broken in this way). According to Imam Abu Hanifah, eating and/or drinking deliberately during fast also entail the same qadaa’ and kaffarah.

Things That Do Not Invalidate Fasting

Using a miswak to clean your teeth does not invalidate fasting

During fast, the following things are permissible:

1 – Taking a bath or shower. If water is swallowed involuntarily it will not invalidate the fast. According to most of the jurists, swimming is also allowed in fasting, but one should avoid diving, because that will cause the water to go from the mouth or nose into the stomach.

2 – Using perfumes, wearing contact lenses or using eye drops.

3 – Taking injections or having a blood test.

4 – Using miswak (tooth-stick) or toothbrush (even with tooth paste) and rinsing the mouth or nostrils with water, provided it is not overdone (so as to avoid swallowing water).

5 – Eating, drinking or smoking unintentionally, i.e., forgetting that one was fasting. But one must stop as soon as one remembers and should continue one’s fast.

6 – Sleeping during the daytime and having a wet-dream does not break one’s fast. Also, if one has intercourse during the night and was not able to make ghusl (bathe) before dawn, he or she can begin fast and make ghusl later. Women whose menstruation stops during the night may begin fasting even if they have not made ghusl yet. In all these cases, bathing (ghusl) is necessary but fast is valid even without bathing.

7 – Kissing between husband and wife is allowed in fasting, but one should try to avoid it so that one may not do anything further that is forbidden during the fast.

Requirements for Fasting to Be Valid

There are basically two main components of fasting:

1 – The intention (niyyah) for fasting. One should make a sincere intention to fast for the sake of God every day before dawn. The intention need not be in words, but must be with the sincerity of the heart and mind. Some jurists are of the opinion that the intention can be made once only for the whole month and does not have to be repeated every day. It is, however, better to make intention every day to take full benefit of fasting.

2 – Abstaining from dawn to dusk from everything that invalidates fasting as mentioned above.

Best wishes 😍☺🌹

Rules of divorce in Islam✍

Before I start my topic I advise every man who thinks to separate from his wife to give himself and his partner another chance..we are humans..we are not angels..we mistake and Allah forgives us..so why not to forgive each other..amen..

In Islam, it is believed that married life should be filled with mercy, compassion, and tranquility. Marriage is a great blessing. Each partner in the marriage has certain rights and responsibilities, which are to be fulfilled in a loving way in the best interests of the family.

Unfortunately, this is not always the case.

01
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Evaluate and Try to Reconcile

When a marriage is in danger, couples are advised to pursue all possible remedies to rebuild the relationship. Divorce is allowed as a last option, but it is discouraged. The Prophet Muhammad once said, “Of all the lawful things, divorce is the most hated by Allah.”

For this reason, the first step a couple should make is to really search their hearts, evaluate the relationship, and try to reconcile. All marriages have ups and downs, and this decision should not be arrived at easily. Ask yourself, “Have I really tried everything else?” Evaluate your own needs and weaknesses; think through the consequences. Try to remember the good things about your spouse, and find forgiveness patience in your heart for minor annoyances. Communicate with your spouse about your feelings, fears, and needs. During this step, the assistance of a neutral Islamic counselor may be helpful for some people.

If, after thoroughly evaluating your marriage, you find that there is no other option than divorce, there is no shame in proceeding to the next step. Allah gives divorce as an option because sometimes it is truly the best interest of all concerned. Nobody needs to remain in a situation that causes personal distress, pain, and suffering. In such cases, it is more merciful that you each go your separate ways, peacefully and amicably.

Recognize, though, that Islam outlines certain steps that need to take place both before, during, and after a divorce. The needs of both parties are considered. Any children of the marriage are given top priority. Guidelines are given both for personal behavior and legal process. Following these guidelines may be difficult, especially if one or both spouses feel wronged or angry. Strive to be mature and just. Remember Allah’s words in the Quran: “The parties should either hold together on equitable terms or separate with kindness.” (Surah al-Baqarah, 2:229)

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Arbitration

The Quran says: “And if you fear a breach between the two, appoint an arbiter from his relatives and an arbiter from her relatives. If they both desire reconciliation Allah will effect harmony between them. Verily Allah has full knowledge, and is aware of everything.” (Surah An-Nisa 4:35)

A marriage and a possible divorce involve more people than just the two spouses. It affects children, parents, and entire families. Before a decision is made about divorce, then, it is only fair to involve family elders in an attempt at reconciliation. Family members know each party personally, including their strengths and weaknesses, and would hopefully have their best interests at heart. If they approach the task with sincerity, they may be successful in helping the couple work their issues out.

Some couples are reluctant to involve family members in their difficulties. One must remember, though, that a divorce would affect them as well—in their relationships with grandchildren, nieces, nephews, etc. and in the responsibilities they would face in helping each spouse develop an independent life. So the family will be involved, one way or the other. For the most part, family members would prefer the opportunity to help while it is still possible.

Some couples seek an alternative, involving an independent marriage counselor as arbiter. While a counselor may play an important role in reconciliation, this person is naturally detached and lacks personal involvement. Family members have a personal stake in the outcome and may be more committed to seeking a resolution.

If this attempt fails, after all due efforts, then it is recognized that divorce may be the only option. The couple proceeds to pronouncing a divorce. The procedures for actually filing for divorce depend on whether the move is initiated by the husband or the wife.

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Filing For Divorce

When a divorce is initiated by the husband, it is known as talaq. The pronouncement by the husband may be verbal or written, and should only be done once. Since the husband is seeking to break the marriage contract, the wife has full rights to keep the dowry (mahr) paid to her.

If the wife initiates a divorce, there are two options. In the first case, the wife may choose to return her dowry to end the marriage. She forgoes the right to keep the dowry since she is the one seeking to break the marriage contract. This is known as khul’a. On this topic, the Quran says, “It is not lawful for you (men) to take back any of your gifts except when both parties fear that they would be unable to keep the limits ordained by Allah. There is no blame on either of them if she gives something for her freedom. These are the limits ordained by Allah so do not transgress them” (Quran 2:229).

In the second case, the wife may choose to petition a judge for divorce, with cause. She is required to offer proof that her husband had not fulfilled his responsibilities. In this situation, it would be unjust to expect her to also return the dowry. The judge makes a determination based on the facts of the case and the law of the land.

Depending on where you live, a separate legal process of divorce may be required. This usually involves filing a petition with a local court, observing a waiting period, attending hearings, and obtaining a legal decree of divorce. This legal procedure may be sufficient for an Islamic divorce if it also satisfies Islamic requirements.

In any Islamic divorce procedure, there is a three-month waiting period before the divorce is finalized.

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Waiting Period (Iddat)

After a declaration of divorce, Islam requires a three-month waiting period (called the iddah) before the divorce is finalized.

During this time, the couple continues to live under the same roof but sleeps apart. This gives the couple time to calm down, evaluate the relationship, and perhaps reconcile. Sometimes decisions are made in haste and anger, and later one or both parties may have regrets. During the waiting period, the husband and wife are free to resume their relationship at any time, thus ending the divorce process without the need for a new marriage contract.

Another reason for the waiting period is a way of determining whether the wife is expecting a child. If the wife is pregnant, the waiting period continues until after she has delivered the child. During the entire waiting period, the wife has the right to remain in the family home and the husband is responsible for her support.

If the waiting period is completed without reconciliation, the divorce is complete and takes full effect. The husband’s financial responsibility for the wife ends, and she often returns to her own family home. However, the husband continues to be responsible for the financial needs of any children, through regular child support payments.

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Child Custody

In the event of divorce, children often bear the most painful consequences. Islamic law takes their needs into account and makes sure that they are cared for.

The financial support of any children—both during a marriage or after divorce—rests solely with the father. This is the children’s right upon their father, and courts have the power to enforce child support payments, if necessary. The amount is open for negotiation and should be in proportion with the husband’s financial means.

The Quran advises the husband and wife to consult each other in a fair manner regarding their children’s future after divorce (2:233). This verse specifically holds that infants who are still nursing may continue to breastfeed until both parents agree on the period of weaning through “mutual consent and counsel.” This spirit should define any co-parenting relationship.

Islamic law stipulates that physical custody of the children must go to a Muslim who is in good physical and mental health and is in the best position to meet the children’s needs. Different jurists have established various opinions of how this might best be done. Some have ruled that custody is awarded to the mother if the child is under a certain age, and to the father if the child is older. Others would allow older children to express a preference. Generally, it is recognized that young children and girls are best cared for by their mother.

Since there are differences of opinion among Islamic scholars about child custody, one might find variations in local law. In all cases, however, the main concern is that the children are cared for by a fit parent who can meet their emotional and physical needs.

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Divorce Finalized

After the waiting period is over, the divorce is finalized. It is best for the couple to formalize the divorce in the presence of the two witnesses, verifying that the parties have fulfilled all of their obligations. At this time, the wife is free to remarry if she wishes.

Islam discourages Muslims from going back and forth about their decisions, engaging in emotional blackmail, or leaving the other spouse in limbo. The Quran says, “When you divorce women and they fulfill the term of their iddat, either take them back on equitable terms or set them free on equitable terms; but do not take them back to injure them, (or) to take undue advantage. If anyone does that, he wrongs his own soul…” (Quran 2:231) Thus, the Quran encourages a divorced couple to treat each other amicably, and to sever ties neatly and firmly.

If a couple decides to reconcile, after the divorce is finalized, they must start over with a new contract and a new dowry (mahr). To prevent damaging yo-yo relationships, there is a limit on how many times the same couple may marry and divorce. If a couple decides to remarry after a divorce, this can only be done twice. The Quran says, “Divorce is to be given two times, and then (a woman) must be retained in good manner or released gracefully.” (Quran 2:229)

After divorcing and remarrying twice, if the couple then decides to divorce again, it is clear that there is a major problem in the relationship! Therefore in Islam, after the third divorce, the couple may not remarry again. First, the woman must seek fulfillment in marriage to a different man. Only after she is divorced or widowed from this second marriage partner, would it be possible for her to reconcile again with her first husband if they choose.

This may seem like a strange rule, but it serves two main purposes. First, the first husband is less likely to initiate a third divorce in a frivolous manner, knowing that the decision is irrevocable. One will act with more careful consideration. Secondly, it may be that the two individuals were simply not a good match for each other. The wife may find happiness in a different marriage. Or she may realize, after experiencing marriage with someone else, that she wishes to reconcile with her first husband after all.

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